Friends, Season 14 a continuation of Duck Life's
by Popcorn Life
Summary: Basically, a continuation from Duck Life's season 11, 12, 13 which I suggest you to read if you haven't, they are awesome. Following Duck Life's tradition, I will upload every week. Be sure to give it a try!
1. The One After Monica Has A Baby Or Two

Ben: Alright, so Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler had another set of twins

_Chandler: Well, the girl is Ramona._

_Monica: And the boy is Drake._

_Thank-you, Dr. Ramoray._

Ben: I told Mom I had a crush on some girl and she freaked out. Joey's getting married and Aunt Phoebe wants more babies. I don't understand this adults much, but they are sometimes seems a bit too crazy.

Susan(from behind him): One of them really is.

_(Theme song and title sequence play. Scene opens in Chandler and Monica's house. Ross, Rachel and Joey are sitting on the Sofa. Mike is holding his board of "Welcome Baby Bings" of Jack and Erica's time of birth)._

Ross: Hey! Do you guys realize that we now have total 6 kids in our group. I mean when they grow up, they can be us!  
>Joey: Hey what about my kids?<p>

Ross: You don't have kids!

Joey: Yeah but I'm gonna have them someday. I mean how many days can they hold themselves from becoming humans when they are already inside such an awesome being, right?

Rachel: Wow Joey! That is some science!  
>Ross: You know, they can be a part of the group too, a little bit though. Like Mike or Erin, you know, who don't really belong.<p>

Mike: I'm standing right here.

Joey (a bit angry): You know who can be an outsider, BEN! He is completely the son of those lesbians and they don't belong.

Phoebe: No! Oh, No! Ben can be the Chandler of the group when he grows up!

Ross: What?  
>Phoebe: Ross, have you seen him run?<p>

Rachel (laughs): and he is funny too; remember the coin incident and the one with the toilet seat- pee goes everywhere…

(pause)

Everyone: Rachel, you mean to say that **Chandler** is funny?

_(Scene ends and open up in Chandler and Monica's bedroom)_

Chandler: They are ours, really ours.

Monica (horrified): Chandler! Don't say that! Jack and Erica are our own as much as these.

Chandler: I know, sweety. I'm sorry. I did not mean that.

(Chandler and Monica kiss)

Monica: You know I totally intended to name one of these Janice

Chandler: That's… (shocked ) Wh wh a aa t? That will be so cruel. And they are just born!

Monica: Do you know how much pain they gave me coming out? Its much worse than when Janice goes (imitates Janice's laughter)

Chandler: No! Don't do that! I see what you mean. I glad we named them Ramona and Drake

Scene closes and opens up in the living room. Everyone in same position. Enter Erin.

Joey: Monica and Chandler named their babies after me!

Erin: Huh?

Rachel: He means that they first named Joey and _then_ they named the babies (Laughs alone. No one else does.)

Rachel: You know, _after_ him.

Erin: I still don't get it.

Ross: Joey was being very supportive when Monica was giving birth. So in honor of him, they named their kids Ramona and Drake. As in Drake Ramoray.

Ross: Hey that's what we did with Ben.

Phoebe(excited): Do you remember the Janitor's clothes I had wore. His name was Ben. Ohhhh! So you named him after me?

Joey: When I have twins, I'm totally gonna name them Monica and Chandler.

Rachel: And how do you know you are going to have twins?

Joey (exasperated): Rache, look at me! When Chandler can manage two at a time, I can manage seven!

(pause)

Ross: Joey, the birth and number of babies is not actually dependant on how…

Joey: (cuts him) Yeah, yeah, Ross. If you had given this information to the Dinos they probably wouldn't be extinct right now.

Scene closes and opens in Central Perk. Ross and Rachel are sitting on the sofa, Joey is sitting on the side table.

Gunther: Ladies and Gentleman, back by demand, we re-welcome, Phoebe Buffay!

(claps)

Phoebe: I am glad that you all are still eager to hear me after so much time. So here is a new song. This song is for a friend of mine who was bitten by a stray dog yesterday. Its called Rabies and the tune might be familiar but its really original.

(Following tune of Justin Bieber's 'Baby')

_You are too scary_

_You are hazardous_

_You can kill people_

_You are nothing but wuss_

_You can attack me_

_I won't give in_

_You can't defeat me_

_You'll never ever ever ever win_

_Rabies! Rabies! Rabies! Oh!_

_You suck, rabies, rabies, rabies, oh!_

_(Phoebe stops. There is no movement.)_

Phoebe: Rabies is a diseases caused by Dog Bite. Please pray for my friend so that she gets well. (Loudly) This is all for you, Regina!

(This time there is a thunderous applause)

Phoebe sits down besides Rachel

Rachel: What was all that about, Pheebs?

Phoebe: Well at first, I thought I would do a song for the new born babies. And this tune came automatically to me. But then these words seemed more perfect.

Ross: Yeah. They were like, irreplaceable. You certainly are the best Pheebs!

Phoebe (smirks): Oh Ross, both of us are married now! Move on

Credits appear on screen.

**Credits Scene**

Gunther: I heard someone talking about it today Rachel, are you married now?

Rachel: Yes Gunther.

Gunther: I had thought at least someone will inform me, if not invite.

Rachel: You know, Gunther, I purposely didn't invite you. You and I share this…. History, you know

Gunther: (smiles to himself) what do you see in that Ross? His hair is Black!


	2. The One With Kung Pao Chicken

The one with Kung Pao Chicken.

Scene open in Joey's place. Joey and Erin are watching TV. Phoebe walks in.

Phoebe: Hey!  
>Joey &amp; Erin: Hey Phoebe!<p>

Phoebe: Joey, lets have dinner tonight.

Joey: Of course Phoebe, I only had two sandwiches in morning. I need lunch, tea, supper, dinner as well as all those random meals in middle.  
>Phoebe: No, Joey, lets eat outside tonight. You know our annual dinner.<p>

Joey: Alright! We'll meet you at seven at your apartment.

Phoebe: We? No. Just you and me, Joey!

Erin: What? Why? Why not me?

Phoebe: Because, it a tradition where the both of us meet for dinner and discuss you guys. (looks at Erin) Oh, no! Not you, you are not one of the guys.

Joey: Alright, let go to the new Italian place. Where will you eat, Erin?

Erin looks exasperated. Theme song and Title sequence plays. Scene opens up in Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Rachel is sitting on the arm chair.

Rachel: Guys, can you come over for dinner tonight?  
>Chandler: Why? You want to practice food poisoning?<p>

Monica: (laughs) Sure, sweety. But why?

Rachel: Yesterday Ross and I found a new place to eat, it's fabulous! We thought we would order from there tonight and I know you're going to love it!

Monica: Alright! What kind is it?

Rachel: It's Chinese. And let me tell you, they have such fine Kung Pao Chicken.

Monica: Rache, Chandler doesn't eat Kung Pao Chicken.

Rachel: Why?

Monica: Remember when your mom asked you what's new in sex? It's something like that.

_**(Flash Back. The One With Mrs. Bing.)**_

_**Mrs. Bing (TV):**__...This is kind of embarrassing, but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...___

_**Chandler:**__Now why would she say that's embarrassing?___

_**All:**__Shhh.___

_**Mrs. Bing (TV):**__...I just get this craving for Kung Pao Chicken.___

_**Chandler:**__THAT'S TOO MUCH INFORMATION!_

_(Back to present)_

Rachel: Oh. Okay. Hey, since we are talking about sexy moms….

Chandler: Hey, Hey!

Rachel: Come on, Chandler; don't tell me you think your mom is not sexy. Ross once told me….

Chandler: Shut up. Please Shut up.

Monica: What? Was it the thing with the mental images while having….

Chandler: Oh My God! So Rachel, you were talking about sexy moms. That is more pleasant.

Rachel: Yeah, so there a girl in my office, Isabel. Her boyfriend told her that once he kissed his best friend's mother!

Chandler: Oh Crap!

Rachel: I know! I advised her to break up with him immediately. How can one be in a relationship with such a guy?

Chandler: Oh Crap!

Monica: I don't know, Rache. You married a guy who cheated on you.

Chandler: THEY WERE ON A BREAK!

Monica: What? Chandler!

Chandler: I'm gonna go home and I'm taking the babies!

Takes the pram and goes. Monica runs after him. Rachel looks bewildered. Scene closes and opens up in Joey and Erin's bedroom.

Erin: Joey?

Joey: Yes, baby?

Erin: You aren't really going to go to that dinner tonight with Phoebe, are you?

Joey: Of course, I am! Why would you think that? I love Italian!

Erin: But we are engaged! How can you go off on a date with another woman?

Joey: It's not another woman. It's Phoebe! She is my best friend!

Erin (angered): And who am I? A friend with benefits?

Joey: What have you gone mad? I love you!

Erin: I know. But you have kissed her twice, Joey. You go out for annual lunches. And Phoebe is so possessive about you! What about her? Does she love you?

Joey: Hey! Stop talking like that about Pheebs! Phoebe would do nothing like that!

Erin: And you? What about you?

Joey: I set her up with Mike! I officiated her wedding!

Erin: And do you repent that?

Joey: I'm gonna walk out now. By the time I come back, I hope you will have figured out the answer. And also if you do not trust me, I think its time for goodbye!

(Exit Joey. Scene closes and opens up in Chandler and Monica's house. Enter Monica.)

Monica: Baby, what was that?

Chandler: My mother kissed my best Ross!

Monica: What?

Chandler: Ross kissed my mom!

Monica: What! When?

Chandler: About the time she was on the world tour for promoting her book. When Rachel was dating Paolo.

Monica: Oh my god! And you did nothing about it?

Chandler: Of course, I did! I stopped talking to him.

Monica: For what? Like a minute?

Chandler: No, I became the bigger person there, I forgave him.

Monica: Oh! You are such a sissy!

Chandler: Hey, he's my oldest friend!

Monica: He's my brother too! But you should have kicked his ass! I'm ashamed of you!

(Scene closes and opens up in Joey and Chandler's apartment. Erin is sitting on Rosetta. Enter Joey.)

Erin (stands up): Joey, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said what I did. Please forgive me!

Joey: No! No, I'm sorry! You were right! I should have thought about it with your perspective.

Erin: I had no perspective! I was being a crazy bitch. Hey! Where did you learn that word?

Joey (confused): Yeah, yeah (hugs her) Baby, I have decided something. Tonight is going to be the last of our annual lunches. From now on, Phoebe is going to be just like Monica and Rachel are to me.

Erin: Don't do that! I said I was wrong, right?

Joey: Not totally. Look, I love you and I don't want to lose you. My friends can understand if I have to make little adjustments and compromises.

Erin: Seriously, did you digest a dictionary?

Joey smiles. Both kiss. Scene closes and open up in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Enter Monica and Chandler.

Rachel: Hi!

Monica: Hi. So what are you cooking?

Rachel: We're ordering, right?

Monica: But you know, Chandler doesn't eat Kung Pao Chicken coz his mother craves for it after she has been INTIMATE with someone.

Ross (giggles): I know.

Monica: I wonder among the people we know has she been intimate with.

Chandler: Monica, what are you doing?

Monica: Just trying to figure out whom is it that she…

Ross (shouts): YOU TOLD HER!

Chandler (Shouts): YES! (Hits Ross In the stomach with his fist and unusual strength.) THERE YA GO SUCKER!

Monica (Shouts): THAT'S THE MAN I MARRIED!

(Chandler and Rachel look at her.)

Monica: No, that sounded wrong.

Rachel: Can anyone tell me what's happening?

Monica: Ross kissed Mrs. Bing 13 years back.

Rachel: Oh My God! Eew!

Monica: What were you saying about your friend Isabel today, Rache?

Rachel: Oh My God! Should I divorce Ross?

Ross: There goes my fourth marriage.

Credits appear on Screen

Credit Scene.

Joey is standing on the footpath. His phone rings. He answers, it Pheobe.

Pheobe: Hello, Joey, eh, I wanted to say something.

Joey: Actually, Phoebe, I too wanted to say something.

Phoebe: Okay, you go first.

Joey: No, um, you go first.

Phoebe: Okay. So Joey, I was thinking we should stop going out together every year. I know we are best friends, but we are so close that it can affect our marriages.

Joey: Yeah, I know…

Phoebe: I know you are upset Joey, please don't cry. This is necessary for our private life. (Volume begins to rise) This is hard for me too, Joey. STOP BEING A BABY ABOUT IT! IT ISN'T EASY FOR ME! TRY TO UNDERSTAND.

(Switches off the phone. Joey looks confused and child-like.)


	3. The One Where Ross and Rachel Have News

Phoebe: Yay it's going to be my birthday!

(pause)

Phoebe: Oh No! I'm going to turn 40!

Joey (in anguish): Why God Why?

Phoebe (Smiles): It's alright Joey, so are you, next year!

Joey (Gasps): He follows no deal we strike! (Points toward the ceiling.)

Theme song and Title Sequence play. Scene opens in Central Perk. Monica, Rachel, Ross are sitting on the sofa. Chandler and Joey are on the corner table. Enter Phoebe.

Phoebe: Hey Rache!

Rachel: Hi Phoebe!

Phoebe: Hi Ross!

Ross: Hi Phoebe!

Rest all: Hi Phoebe!

Phoebe: Okay, Hi Monica, Hi Chandler, Hi Joey! MONICA! Ramona and Drake didn't say hi to me, should I say it to them?

Monica: Sure, they're listening.

Phoebe: Alright, Hi Drake-Ramona! (Pause. Phoebe rolls her eyes) Oh they are so rude!

Monica: Phoebe, they…

Phoebe: Yeah right, right, mother!

Rachel: Ross, we'd better leave….

Phoebe: Listen to me! It's my birthday and I am expecting you to give me a surprise birthday party.

Monica: Yes Phoebe, we

Phoebe: Shhh shhh! I and Mike will be at your house at 6. I want all of you to be present, no babies locked inside, no lying to your spouse to get into bed and no (looks at Joey) having sex with my sister.

Joey: I'm committed.

Phoebe: I knew it! I knew you'd say you've plans for tonight. But no missing my birthday, Jonas Tribbianni!

Joey: That's not my name.

Phoebe: (winks) I know. But this sounds cuter.

Scene ends and opens in Monica and Chandler's house. Monica, Chandler, Joey, Erin are present. Enter Mike and Phoebe.

Everyone: Surprise!

Phoebe (happily): Oh! Oh! Oh you guys! And I thought you had forgotten my birthday. This is such a surprise! (Hugs Monica and Erin. Hugs Joey and Mike. Looks awkwardly at Chandler.)

Phoebe: Thank you, Chandler!

Chandler: And That's The Life Of Chandler Bing.

Phoebe: Where are Ross and Rachel?

Monica: They should be here by now.

(Phone rings. Monica picks it up.)

Monica (On the phone): Yeah? Oh, okay. But… fine. Um, she might kill you. Okay, bye.

Phoebe: What? They aren't coming, are they?

Monica(shakes her head):No, they got busy, they'll be here in an hour.

Phoebe: What is it this time? Emma on fire? Rachel fell down the elevator shaft? Jurassic park happened in their house?

Monica: We have reservations at Henry's at half past seven. I call to push it forward.

Phoebe: No! No place for Late-comers on my birthday! Let's go.

Scene closes and opens in a taxi. Ross is sitting on the backseat. Rachel is leaning on his shoulder.

Rachel: Oh Phoebe is going to be so happy! I hope we reach there in time. She might kill us otherwise.

Ross: No she won't. Infact she is going to be so happy!

Rachel: I know. I'm so glad we took the **test**.

Ross: Yep. Do you think we should **check **with the **doctor**, though? It might be scary.

Rachel: I can't wait to tell the guys that (mute) * ** *******. *** ********'* ***** ** **** * *******.

Voice Over: Kids, that's when I heard that your friend Emma's mother, Rachel was about to get a **bump**.

Rachel: Did you hear that?

Ross: Yeah, who was that?

Taxi Driver (Turns around.): That was my voice. You know, from the future when I would be telling my kids about one night when I drove Barney's taxi for a dare. Hi, I'm Ted Moseby.

Ross: Do you have a license?

Ted: Not a cabbie's license but um, I have driven…

Ross (Shouts): Stop The Car! Stop The Car!

(The taxi comes to a halt. Ross scrambles out and pulls Rachel behind him.)

Ted (Smirks): What a wuss!

Future Ted: I can't believe that man became a father!

Scene ends and open in a restaurant. Phoebe, Mike, Joey, Erin, Monica and Chandler are sitting on a table. Gunther and Ursula are also with them.

Phoebe: Thanks for joining us on such a short notice, Gunther and Ursula.

Ursula: I can't believe I let go my Hookah for this.

Phoebe: It's your birthday, Ursula! You should thank me for giving you a surprise birthday party. Anyway thank you Gunther.

Gunther: I thought Rachel would be here.

Phoebe: Ugh, Gunther! Rachel is married! Move on!

Mike: You like Rachel?

Monica: He is like totally in love with her. Don't waste your youth, er, you_ age_ on her Gunther.

Phoebe: Yeah! She is such a such a bitch. Plus, you have such raw sex appeal!

Mike: Eh?

Gunther (blushes): Thank you!

Chandler (holds his head and flinches): Lots of Jokes, Lots of Jokes!

Pheobe (ignores him): Ursula here is a waitress, you two could really do well together.

Ursula: Er, I need a smoke.

Phoebe: Yeah, Ursula is a bitch too, forget about her. (cellphone rings). It's Rachel. I'm going to reject the call.

Scene closes and opens outside Chandler and Monica's house. Ross is looking disappointed. Rachel is calling someone.

Rachel: She rejected the call! Do you think she is angry? Oh! And we wanted to tell her the **good news** today!

Ross: Yeah, we had expected us good response.

Rachel: Why aren't they here?

Ross: I had told Monica clearly that I would be there in an hour.

Rachel (under her breath): It could have been an hour if we had not left our first taxi because the driver did not have a license though he was driving well and the second because it had a rash driver whose speed went above 60 km/hr for a minute.

Ross: What did you say?

Rachel: Nothing, I'll try the others' phones.

(Scene ends and opens up at the same place. Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Mike, Joey, Erin arrive. Rachel rushes at them.)

Monica: Rache, what are you doing here?

Rachel: Apparently, Ross had informed some random woman about us being an hour late

Phoebe: So you were here all the time.

Rachel: Yeah. Why weren't you rejecting our phone?

Chandler: Phoebe made us.

Phoebe: So for what did you actually cause this, this commotion?

Ross: We had an announcement to make.

Monica: What? Are you getting a divorce?

Rachel (looks at Ross. He smiles): No! Ross and I took some Dino test today and we have got 8 tickets to the new Dino amusement park!

Joey: Whoohoo! Go Ross! Is it safe?

Erin: It might be unsafe, Joey. Why don't you check with the doctor first?

Joey: I might.

(Scene ends. Credits appear on screen)

**Credit Scene**.

(Gunther is putting on his shirt.)

Gunther: Oh that was good!

Female Voice (behind him): Yeah! Hadn't had so good in 12 years!

(Gunther turns back. A woman is lying on the bed)

Ursula(the woman): How about breakfast?

**Author's Note: I don't really have a fixed day for update. But I can assure you that if you check every Saturday, there will be a new episode. I'm sorry if you found the TED MOSEBY part unfamiliar, it is from the show How I Met Your Mother. I have decided to bring back characters from the series like Rachel's Sister Jill, Joey's ex-girlfriend Angela and Will from high school. There will also be a come-back of one of the most enjoyed recurring character in one of the coming episodes. PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW, THEY ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME. EVEN A SMILEY WILL BE FINE. THANK YOU!**


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